Who are these absolute pussy flaps that get out of bed on a Sunday afternoon in the summer to go and stand in the beer garden of an all day party? These fucking gaylords spend hours reconstructing their hideous face with what appears to be limitless amounts of Laboritoire Garnier foundation and wearing the tightest low cut top they find and congratulate each other on how much "Gear" they did last night. No mate, you stuck an 8th of cake mix up your schnozz and went home to wank over your sister's dirty knickers because no actual woman will ever sleep with someone wearing more make up than she is.
You say you were up all night taking gear when really you were in your room with your mates wanking each off and then using the rest of the time to get ready so you can stand in the sun pouting with your fucking girl's drink - cider and black and desperately hoping Joey Essex will become your best mate. 'Cos let's face it, he must be your hero, you look like the fucking nause cunt.
Stop posing, order a beer and get pissed like everyone else pretty boy.
The women are just as bad! spend less time standing around posing and slagging the other girls off - who all look exactly the same as you - stop nursing that one glass of Rose you can afford and get a brandy and coke down your neck because let's face it, you'll probably have the dj/bouncer/barstaff/local tramp's cock down there later anyway so you need to get that shit numb.
Most of this rant came from Sam, I've just added a few bits in.
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