Paul's Boutique

What ho! Yes, women and girls can also be a nause cunt, lord knows we all have a few acquaintances that fit into that catergory.

Now the one thing I have noticed about this particular brand is that it's mainly worn by chav tree-pigs absolutely caked in makeup trying to glam up their otherwise very plain lifestyles (think a homeless Katie Price and you have your average Paul's Boutique customer)

The one thing that always get's me is how the owner of a PB product genuinely believes they are highly original, you are not you nause cuntette. Every item of PB's kit is manufactured en-mass in sweat shops in the far east, there are thousands of other women with exactly the same bag/coat as you. On the up side it means you're not the only person stupid enough to pay that price for something that Wayne Rooney glued together in his crafts class (which he normally has after his sippy cup and nap time).

You look like a giant walking billboard and you are happy to pay a fucking fortune to be an advertisement for the brand, this Paul fellow must be shitting himself laughing at you. Imagine the design meetings;

Designer: "I have a great idea for a new bag Mr Paul!"

Paul: "Ah, don't worry, just glue any old shit to a Tesco bag for life, these cunts'll buy anything"

Take it off, turn down the makeup and have a think about what you do next. Preferably stay in and sort your fucking head out.

Wicker Shoes

Now most people will conjour up an image of wicker shoes like this.........

You'd be very wrong, some nause cunts have decided to start wearing wicker shoes. Actual, proper shoes made from the same stuff they use on the bottom of hot air balloons. Yes indeed, they have starting making fashion items out of wicker.

Who the fuck wants to wear a couple of baskets on their feet. Just because some designer says "ooh these are fashionable" the average nause cunt by default simply must wear them. I've actually tried a pair on and they are the most uncomfortable things I've ever had around my feet and I've trodden in dogshit bare footed guys. What's next trousers made from hay? Pants made out of spiders eggs? What is wrong with these people.

"Ooh look how original I am with my shoes made from hedgerows" no mate, you look like you stole Worzel Gummidge's slippers. Take them off, put on some proper shoes and have a long hard think about your life you fucking absolute mong.

Mustard Chinos

Now! Who the fucking hell thinks these look good? I'd just about lost my rag with the standard baby's vomit chinos, but mustard? Holy fucking hell.


The type of nause cunts that wear these usually combine it with a burgundy top, now I fully agree that the two colours go really well with each other (on hotel walls and in Dulux paint combos) but on a fucking person? Are these people mentally ill? They look like some sort of Mr Kipling pudding.


I kid you not, I actually saw two of these wankers the other day, one had the mustard chinos and burgundy top and the other one had the mustard top and burgundy chinos. Did this pair not think it might be a good idea to split up rather than walk around looking like the dyslexia twins? As if it could any worse, they had fucking red Toms on, both of them. I reckon they must have been sucking each other off while applying their make-up and selecting this absolutely yogi bear of an outfit. Nause Cunts.


I despair at the world sometimes.


I have many more rants on the way, hold tight people.........

VK Wankers

Now these particular nause cunts really get up my tree!


No mate; you do not look cool walking around with to 2 varying flavours of that foul liquid in your hands. You, in fact, look like a twat,


I know how you think you look, your crazy little brain thinks you look like P Diddy quaffing two bottles of Crystal when in reality you just look like a fucking prick drinking a beverage that should really be aimed at 14 year olds. When I see one of these dickheads walking around with two VKs in their hands I automatically think this:

I'm particularly impressed when they put both bottles to their mouths and drink from them at the same time. You do have to give them credit there though; imagine how much of their tiny brain had to be utilised in order for them to raise two objects towards their face at the same time, they probably have to take brain power away from other necessary bodily functions and soil their underwear while they do it. If they managed to get both legs in separate holes.

I'm also impressed with the way they use these particularly sticky and stain creating drinks to spray fucking everywhere. All over everyone. That's exactly what we want mate, to be covered in a sticky, foul tasting, foul smelling kids drink. Yeah! Aren't you amazing. I wonder if they do that because after the two bottle mouth pour they no longer have the cranial capacity to stand in a crowd without having a stroke.

Move away from alcopops nause-boy and get one single drink of a grown up persuasion like the rest of us adults, the only people you impress are your mates, and to be honest, they're just and fucking twatty as you.

Fucking Vests!

Here we go again, I'm completely and utterly cunted off with people that think it's ok to wear a vest when the sun goes down. Listen nause cunts; it is not ok to wear a vest when it's night. It is particularly not ok to wear one to a nightclub. Do you realise what you look like?

I have cleverly disguised the person next to the Nause Cunt. He is now some sort of cat demon.

Check out this guy, not only is he wearing a fucking PINK vest, he also has Toms and Topman Wanker jeans turnups! This guy is the reason I feel the need to go out killing, it could only have been made worse by a fake tan. I imagine that's faded when this pic was taken. He looks like a fake tan cunt.

Does this guy leave his divorced mum's house in some sort of middle class suburb after looking in the leather bound Ikea-esque mirror in the hall and think "Yeah! Fuck Yeah! I look awesome!" ?

You do not look awesome, you look like a puff with a cleft wardrobe. Please stop, you're frustrating those of us that actually hate you.

People Carriers

Right! 
I understand that people carriers have a use, they are for carrying people. Mainly families.

Mate! It doesn't matter how loud you blast drum and bass/euro house/awful rnb with your windows down. Your car is unbelievably uncool, you look like a twat, you sound like a twat. Put your windows up, pick your kids up from the Transport Museum and shut up.

Just because life didn't turn out like you wanted; with a Bentley and gold leafed banisters in a terrible faux Tudor 6 bedroomer.

Also stop driving like a dickjob, you have your family on board, you're a dad, be responsible. Nause Cunt.

And put your top on, you look like a pikey in a Zafira topless. I refer you to a previous post: http://nausecunts.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/top-off-in-public-place.html

@samstockmans and @JSimms_23 helped me out with this one

follow these boys on twitdog.

The "Sync" Button

If you're a proper DJ you'll understand.
The Sync tab should be made illegal, software developers that include this tab should be punished via a barbed wire encrusted dildo until they get the message.

This is all.