Paul's Boutique

What ho! Yes, women and girls can also be a nause cunt, lord knows we all have a few acquaintances that fit into that catergory.

Now the one thing I have noticed about this particular brand is that it's mainly worn by chav tree-pigs absolutely caked in makeup trying to glam up their otherwise very plain lifestyles (think a homeless Katie Price and you have your average Paul's Boutique customer)

The one thing that always get's me is how the owner of a PB product genuinely believes they are highly original, you are not you nause cuntette. Every item of PB's kit is manufactured en-mass in sweat shops in the far east, there are thousands of other women with exactly the same bag/coat as you. On the up side it means you're not the only person stupid enough to pay that price for something that Wayne Rooney glued together in his crafts class (which he normally has after his sippy cup and nap time).

You look like a giant walking billboard and you are happy to pay a fucking fortune to be an advertisement for the brand, this Paul fellow must be shitting himself laughing at you. Imagine the design meetings;

Designer: "I have a great idea for a new bag Mr Paul!"

Paul: "Ah, don't worry, just glue any old shit to a Tesco bag for life, these cunts'll buy anything"

Take it off, turn down the makeup and have a think about what you do next. Preferably stay in and sort your fucking head out.

Wicker Shoes

Now most people will conjour up an image of wicker shoes like this.........

You'd be very wrong, some nause cunts have decided to start wearing wicker shoes. Actual, proper shoes made from the same stuff they use on the bottom of hot air balloons. Yes indeed, they have starting making fashion items out of wicker.

Who the fuck wants to wear a couple of baskets on their feet. Just because some designer says "ooh these are fashionable" the average nause cunt by default simply must wear them. I've actually tried a pair on and they are the most uncomfortable things I've ever had around my feet and I've trodden in dogshit bare footed guys. What's next trousers made from hay? Pants made out of spiders eggs? What is wrong with these people.

"Ooh look how original I am with my shoes made from hedgerows" no mate, you look like you stole Worzel Gummidge's slippers. Take them off, put on some proper shoes and have a long hard think about your life you fucking absolute mong.

Mustard Chinos

Now! Who the fucking hell thinks these look good? I'd just about lost my rag with the standard baby's vomit chinos, but mustard? Holy fucking hell.


The type of nause cunts that wear these usually combine it with a burgundy top, now I fully agree that the two colours go really well with each other (on hotel walls and in Dulux paint combos) but on a fucking person? Are these people mentally ill? They look like some sort of Mr Kipling pudding.


I kid you not, I actually saw two of these wankers the other day, one had the mustard chinos and burgundy top and the other one had the mustard top and burgundy chinos. Did this pair not think it might be a good idea to split up rather than walk around looking like the dyslexia twins? As if it could any worse, they had fucking red Toms on, both of them. I reckon they must have been sucking each other off while applying their make-up and selecting this absolutely yogi bear of an outfit. Nause Cunts.


I despair at the world sometimes.


I have many more rants on the way, hold tight people.........